Friday, February 29, 2008

For those of you living under a rock

Or going to other schools (which is the same thing - hey-oooo!), this Friday is Unofficial St. Patrick's day at U of I. Unofficial is the day in which Illini get drunk at 7 in the morning, go to class waaaaasted, and then bar-hop all night. For those of you at Knox, imagine Flunk Day with a few weeks to prepare and several bars offering specials; for those of you at other schools, transfer (hey-ooooo!).

In all honesty, though, Unofficial as I've described is basically celebrated by Douchy Mac Douche and his brothers of the Alpha Phi Douche brotherhood. The administration spends a good deal of energy trying to suppress the "holiday," generally with little success. This year, they've not only publicized that anyone caught disrupting class drunk will be expelled, but also that no visitors will be allowed in the dorms this week, and have reminded us that a drinking or disorderly conduct citation will cost 300$.

Now, I'm planning on going to work in the morning like a responsible adult, but I may enjoy the carnivalesque atmosphere of Unofficial in the evening. If you're planning on enjoying Unofficial, be safe and smart.


Emma said...

Actually, I think it was last year that they threatened to expel anyone coming to class drunk. I still haven't found out if I'll be missing out on a chance to get a $300 drinking ticket in a festive atmosphere, or whether I'll be playing volleyball sober. I'm in suspense.

happyasaclem said...

HEY! I'm an Alpha Douche! I take offense to that.