Commercials are Bunk #2

Does anyone really want a cell phone for Valentine's day?

First, who would pay for the contract? If it's the person giving the phone, would you have to pay the early termination fee if you broke up with them?

Second, a cell phone is the kind of thing one uses every day. That's kind of personal. That's the kind of thing I'd want to shop for myself.

But the worst part about this? The fraking commercials. There are a few particularly repugnant ones that stand out in my mind. The first has this irritating couple baby-talking about how much they love each other, yes they do, and should they get new phones, those new phones are buy one get one, yes they should get them, yes they should.

It's frankly insulting to my intelligence, and also to my dignity as a human being. As is the second one, where a white guy (try not to faint here, please) tries to rap! Now, this is always daring and funny, to be sure, but this time I just feel bad for him. Not only is this actor making an ass of himself on national TV, but he's doing it to sell phones. Truly, there are some fates worse than death.

Such as, say, being the ad agency hack who came up with the blindingly horrible "heaven must be missing a squirrel" spot. Finger puppets, who are on the screen of the cell phone you should buy for your love. You see, it makes perfect sense, finger puppets are one of the great things your beloved can watch on the internet capable phone you just bought them - because you are in love with a 4 year old. You might want to look to that.

Ack, pbbbt. Again.