Dear Vice Magazine,
I hope your kids hate you. Stop lying to yourselves. You* are going to try and hold on to your youth for as long as possible, and that's fine, but making fun of old people trying to be cool is just a way of storing what our common friends, the hippies, would refer to as "some seriously bad Karma."
*I created a personification of Vice Magazine in my mind. Two of them. Joel and Patricia Vice.